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Thursday, December 21, 2017

Mattel Ultimator Review (7/10)

The 90s' hurt. Like really hurt.
Remember those blasters you lusted over as a kid  and then decades later you weep once you see their value on eBay? This is one of them, and it holds a special place in the hearts of a lot of Nerfers. We all love rocket launchers right? Big, impractical, yet utterly powerful and intimdating. Depending on the rules you play by, they can be a lethal addition to a loadout so why not take a look at the grandfather of foam rocket launchers? This is the Ultimator, you better run.




The Ultimator came out in 1994 to compete with Nerf's nowadays primitive lineup of push pull blasters. If you remember that commercial posted above, the Ultimator might as well have been sent down by God himself. It was big, had a trigger, and boasted ranges of 120 feet. Yeah you read that right, 120 "how the hell is this even possible" feet. Even today for a stock blaster that's unheard of, but just how true were those claims. Is the Ultimator really as awesome as Mattel made it out to be?
Size compared to a Titan. Big and bad meets bigger and badder.
It's a hefty blaster for sure, roughly around the size of a Titan but notably heavier both on the hands and on the eyes with the kind of color scheme only the 90's can produce. The grips are smaller than a Titan and may be uncomfortable if you have larger hands but they're a good fit for average sized hands, the trigger is stiff though but it's sensitivity makes up for the somewhat unnecessary draw length. The size of the launcher makes it suitable for over the shoulder firing but using the back like a stock is rather comfortable too. The black crank handle is on top in a fairly accessible position and the overall build feels quite sturdy.
Size comparison of the missiles. They are not interchangeable.
Another similarity you can draw from the Titan is the size of the rockets. These are called Ballista Missiles and they have the same diameter as the Titan's Mega Missile but with a larger hole and an overall shorter length. They are still considerably more massive than any other ammo type out there today but due to their age, they've become rather uncommon and signs of decay were definitely prevalent on mine. The fins were falling off and the heads were worn, falling off as well. Luckily hot glue and duct tape should make these last a good while longer, I'm just lucky I have ammo for this thing regardless. The Ultimator comes with storage for an extra rocket, a big plus over the Titan.
Don't poke your eye out. Like, seriously.
Another feature of the Ultimator is it's iron sights which are on the top of the blaster, positioned so that you are forced to angle the blaster when you aim. Perhaps that's where the 120 foot range claim comes from? These are very far from being suitable for over the shoulder firing and I'll tell you why in a minute. The sights do work well from shouldering the launcher rifle style though but they still might not be all that helpful.
Pre-workout might be advised here.
So aesthetically it's a intimidating beast, how does it shoot? You pump up the blaster... actually no, you crank up the blaster. You'll see why this makes sense once we get to the internals. You shoulder it, line up the sights with your target, take a minute to gloat over them and their puny Arrowstorm, and then pull the trigger; all hell breaks loose. The Ultimator kicks back with a massive bang, the rear sight socks you in the eye as the rocket screams past over a foot off target. This is fairly accurate statement, the Ultimator is loud and it has legit recoil. Like actual fucking kick. From a toy rocket launcher marketed to children.
I can't crack it open but inside is the most frighteningly large spring I've ever seen.
So once you open the blaster this sorcery all starts to make sense. The barrel of the blaster houses a massive extension spring that powers a equally colossal direct plunger that pretty much comprises of the whole front end of the blaster. The catch system is also interesting in that it shares quite a lot in common with a caulk gun in that it's friction based. So you crank the blaster twelve times, it will stop once it hits the end of it's track, load a rocket, and pull the trigger. The rocket soars pretty fast and far but it's not terribly accurate. Flat ranges from over the shoulder aren't that much more impressive than the Titan at the 45 to 55 foot mark. Angling the blaster does increase range considerably at the cost of making it even more difficult to hit anything. I will take into account that due to the age of this blaster, the seals have probably dried up but cracking it open is a no go due to those giant green plastic rings. I dropped some lube through the top so I'll just have to see if there any difference once it soaks in.
It's so rad that I'm actually starting to cry tears of Surge now.
The Ultimator is something special. It's not the most practical, probably not the most safe, and it's performance is a touch underwhelming but it's by far one of the most fun, if not the most fun blaster I've used in long time. The sensation you get when you fire it is unlike anything else and it can send people running for cover on sight. It's loud, it's big, and it's intimidating. Depending on how you incorporate rocket launchers into your wars, "blast radius" and whatnot, the Ultimator can be a lethal addition to an arsenal, although modding one might be a bit of a stretch based on value and difficulty. As a blaster, it gets a 7 out of 10 based on several factors but I believe everybody should get a chance to try one of these out, it's a hell of a blaster. Ultimator rules, you weenie.

The Ultimator is now discontinued.

The Verdict
Class- Heavy Rocket Launcher
Range- Good, around 45 to 55 feet but leaves something to be desired for accuracy. Angling the blaster significantly increases ranges. 
Size- Similar to a Titan.
Reliability- No major issues to report. Just don't give yourself a black eye with the recoil.
Ammo- 2 Ballista Missiles
Modding- Can be re-barreled for darts although it's less expensive to do the same on a Titan.
Value- Most eBay examples go for well over $100 bucks. That's the price you pay for raw power.

Is It Better Than?



Titan- Yes, both are similar performing flat but the Ultimator is capable of out ranging the Titan especially considering it has no stupid safety mechanism to prevent high angled firing. The Ultimator takes less cranks to prime and it has storage for an extra rocket, as well as not being capable of developing leaks. Honestly, the fun factor of the Ultimator alone is enough to justify it over the Titan but if I'm honest, you should own both.

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