A Perfect Guide to Apple's "new" iPhone(And other crap) Reveal

Somewhat typical of the yearly Apple reveal.

Apple unveiled their new iPhone's today! Yeah... don't expect me to give them any congratulations. I had a look through what they were offering up and apart from more stuff on the frankly terrible Apple Watch, none of it was really all that impressive. In fact a lot of it was stuff we already have on Android or even Windows platforms but much of it we never use because there isn't a good reason to, like I almost never use the S-Pen on my Note 4 and they go out of their way to charge $100 for a stylus to go along with the ginormous iPad Pro which seems to be about as useful as a Surface RT, being that it runs iOS and not OS X which you would expect on something marketed as a high end productivity device. Apple TV now gets apps as well as games, and if you remember the Ouya, smartphone gaming on big ass TVs "really" took off. Oh and we can't forget the iPhone, it's barely different. It's a bit more powerful and the camera finally moved out of 8 megapixel range, which it should have a couple years ago but remember, this is Apple, but other than that, your paying around $600 to $700 bucks on something barely different from your "old" 6. Sure it's got some new features but will you ever seriously use them? Honestly? Your 6 and even your 5S is still good to go, yet people still find the need to upgrade. I doubt I'll ever understand why. I could write a whole post on this and I was so tempted to, but I got some Forza Motorsport 6 to attend to. Anyways, here's the Deadspin post for people who want a (hopefully)unbiased, and fairly humorous albeit vulgar blow by blow of what aluminum clad brainwash devices Apple is putting out this year. Good day.